Monday, January 19, 2009

Confessions of my youth...

With permission I stole this idea from my sisters friend Lindy. It feels good to get it all out, go ahead and try it, I dare you!

Dear Kristi: I'm sorry I always lied to trick you into smelling my stinky feet.

Dear Beau Hancock: I'm sorry that I chased you around the playground so much in Elementary School that you just started staying inside during recess.

Dear Mrs. Frank: I'm sorry that I cheated on that one spelling test in 1st grade, I swear I never did it again.

Dear Talent Show Judges: I'm sorry that my mom let me sing for you, I'm not sure why she didn't just tell me it wasn't a talent of mine!

Dear Mrs. Mortensen: I'm sorry that I lied to you about the gum that you stepped on in 4th grade, it really was mine.

Dear Cody Littlefield: I'm sorry that I dedicated the song "Lonesome Loser" to you in the 6th grade.

Dear Orem Neighbors: I'm sorry that I ate all of your Velveeta cheese slices every time I babysat for you.

Dear Mr. Stumpfy: I'm sorry that my friends and I followed you around Timpview and made fun of you.

Dear Jolly Orange Giant: I'm sorry that my friends and I followed you around Timpview and made fun of you.

Dear Nate Cooper: I'm sorry that my friends Kristen and Nikki had crushes on you and I was always involved in the stalking of you somehow. Oh, and I'm sorry that I always made fun of the size of your head!

Dear Timpview Student Body of 1994: I'm sorry that you had to watch me and Nikki Winterton jump in garbage cans in the commons area and laugh until we peed our pants.
We really didn't think there was anything wrong with that!

Dear: TR Gourley, Brandon Okey, John Kearl and any other guy I was in love with my Freshman year of High School, I AM SO SORRY! I know I was such a freak!


Dear Daniel a.k.a Wheetie: I'm so sorry I took pictures of you underneath the basket, made up cheers for you and actually said them out loud, saved you seats on the bus and embarrassed the heck out of you in front of your teammates. I'm glad it all paid off!

Dear Rob Nash: I'm sorry I broke up with you in 10th grade
because you were too short. It wasn't your fault.

Dear Mr. Valora: I'm sorry that you felt so inclined to call the cops on us when we were stalking Brett Engeman in our snow suits on Timpview property during the Valentine's Day Dance.

Dear Teachers at Timpview: I'm sorry that I used "talking to my dad" as an excuse to get out of your class when I was bored stiff. Oh and I'm sorry that I called half of you creepy old perverts.

Dear Bowdy Gardner: I'm sorry that I tooted in your face twice in the same night. I told you not to tickle me.

Dear Poor Old Jack Rabbits: I'm sorry that I let Bowdy and his brothers talk me into kicking you after they had already shot you. That wasn't nice or necessary but it really was one of the funnest things I have ever done!

Dear snotty Roosevelt girls (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE and I'm pretty sure none of you read my blog): I'm sorry that I dated the cutest guy in your High School. I know most of you thought you had a chance with him... but more importantly I'm sorry that April and I trashed your cars with a bunch of sick crap.

Dear Roosevelt people who did nothing else but drag Main Street: I'm sorry if you ever got a handful of sticky spaghetti thrown into your open window, we were just really bored.

Dear Jessie Woolley (Richards): I'm sorry that I let stupid rumors ruin our friendship for almost 2 years. I hate that that happened and I love you.

Dear Chris Morgan: I'm sorry that I didn't talk to you for like a month after you pinched my butt our Senior year!

Dear Cheer Squad: I'm sorry I was such a wuss about tumbling. And I'm sure that I contributed some towards the "Phantom Farter" but it wasn't all me.

Dear Josh Covey: I'm sorry that I totally shut you down when you tried to make out with me. That was an awkward drive home wasn't it???

Dear Charlie Jenkins: I'm sorry that I paid someone to throw a pie in your face at Ricks. Oh, and I'm sorry I nicknamed you Chester the Molester.

Dear Roomates at Ricks: I'm sorry that you had to watch me gain 40 pounds over a couple of months and I'm sorry if I ate anything that was yours!

Dear fellow EFY counselors: I'm sorry if my girls came and told you that you needed to marry me. I swear I had nothing to do with it! Oh and I'm sorry if I squeeze breezed you in the face when you weren't expecting it.

Dear Everyone: I'm sorry that I had bangs for the majority of my life. In my defense I was from Roosevelt, I thought I had a big forehead and I didn't get the memo that bangs weren't cool anymore!


Fig said...

A) I'm totally doing this, and I'm not getting anyone's permission.

B) I think he's pretty much forgiven you.

C) Your singing voice is NOT that bad and if I have to upload the happy birthday song voicemail you left me and put it on my blog to prove it, that's what I'll do.

D) You are not either sorry for the Chester nickname, and you have to quit putting that on here! People (like him, probably) are going to google him and find this!

E) You are so freaking funny.

Natalie said...

You better do this and quick cause I can't wait to read what you have to say and who you have to say it to. Oh and you are right about D but oh well!

Jason and Melanie said...

Hilarious! I only wish there were pictures with this but you gave enough info to imagine it! What were you doing in the trash cans??

The Happy Haynie Family said...

I like this...especially eating all of the neighbors velvetta cheese slices! You are a NUT!

{lindy baker cakes} said...

My two favorites =
1. Apologizing to your Rick's roommates about your weight and if you ever at their food.
2. The bangs!!!

I'm glad you did this!

sharon said...

Natalie you were so crazy in high school. Weren't we all!!!! I remember learning the schedule of several guys in high school so we could be at the right place at the right time. I won't even go into what I did at Ricks. I sure hope we have a forgiving Heavenly Father. :)

Fig said...

Dude, bangs are totally still cool. They only went out for like two years, tops.

Natalie said...

Not my kind of bangs! Daniel wasn't too far off when he called them the "Utah Claw!"

M-Ware said...

that was THOROUGHLY entertaining. especially cuz of all the farting. and roosy references of course.

by the way, you are such a beautiful pregnant woman. it's kind of fun to be almost exactly on the same timeline.

Stefani Bellows said...

You crack me up! I wish I looked as good as you did gaining 40 pounds(I do have the pics to prove it)! I was right there with you gaining at least 15! Oink Oink. Good Times.